This is the tale of how a young Aussie girl was entirely overwhelmed by Dubai Mall.
My sister is a Jordan fan. It just so happens that the only exclusive Jordan store in the world is in Dubai Mall. So, being the amazing sister that I am, I went to buy her something.
What ensued was the most traumatic shopping experience I have ever had. I entered the Mall and, pretty much immediately, I was entirely confused and utterly overwhelmed by the copious amounts of glitz and Versace.
First things first, I grabbed a map. I was going to orient myself, barge in prepared, get the goods and go back to the hotel to plan the rest of my Dubai adventure.
Alas, the odds were against me.
Thinking that I had a pretty good idea of where I was going, I turned to the lifts and jumped in. I then panicked upon realising that the levels listed in the lift bore no correlation at all to the number of levels in the Mall. Did the numbers correspond to the car park? To another building entirely? Who knows?! I bolted and set off in search for an escalator.
As I walked through the Mall, I became more and more flustered. The place was huge! And everything was bright and shiny! There was a souk on the ground floor, and a waterfall with statues of diving humans in it! And there was a dinosaur skeleton!
Half an hour in, and nowhere nearer to the store (as far as I could tell, at least), I knew that I had to call in the big guns. I called my parents and hurriedly explained my predicament.
My mother’s immediate response: “Why don’t you just get a map?”
I informed her that I did in fact have a map, which I was attempting to follow, and she laughed. My parents then had to listen to me ramble about shiny lights and designer stores for the next fifteen minutes while I walked around in awe at the sheer glamour of the place and the amount of money which I would need to walk into most of the stores.
When I had calmed down sufficiently (i.e. gotten used to the blazing lights and disorienting sparkles which jumped at me from all angles), I bid adieu to my parents, consulted my map (in which I had very little faith at this point), and I set off once more.
At some point during this desperate search, I stumbled across an aquarium. I kid you not. There is a multi-level AQUARIUM in the middle of the Mall. It’s not far from the ice-rink that they have casually smacked in there, complete with funky nightclub lights and banging tunes.
Finally, after searching the complex for forty minutes, I was able to locate the Jordan store. Never has an individual felt so strongly upon setting eyes on that Jumpman symbol. Another fifteen minutes of wandering around the store in indecision and pondering “What would my sister buy?“, and I was then released back into the wilderness which was Dubai Mall. Clutching my Jordan bag, I squared my shoulders and stepped out once more, steeling myself for the next challenge: finding my way back.